You can't lead while judging others

One can't be a leader while judging others for how they behave.🚫

This might be my biggest insight of the year.

I thought I was a pretty good leader. Using progressive practices, reading the right books, and having the right conversations. And then I caught myself on something so simple —I was judging others. And I realized I still have a long way to go.

Here's what happened. 👇

I was watching some documentaries about the opioid crisis in the US. If you haven't followed this, pharmaceutical companies convinced doctors that opioid painkillers weren't addictive. Millions of people got hooked on what was essentially legal heroin.

Complicated topic. Not black and white. But there was this one idea that stuck with me: we cannot judge those who are fighting addiction or pain because we can't imagine what they're living through. Literally.

And somewhere in that moment, I started thinking about leadership.

Recently, we gathered with our Speed and Function leadership team offline. During one of the meetings, my phone started dying, and the red battery indicator popped up. I noticed our founder Nick wincing. Then he reaches over, pulls out a power bank, plugs my phone in, and literally exhales with relief. That's just how his mind is wired — the phone has to be charged.

My first instinct? Why does this even matter to you? It's just a battery.

And that's when it hit me. 💡 My reaction — that's judgment. I was evaluating his experience through my own lens. I've never felt what he feels when he sees that red bar. I simply don't have access to that experience.

I thought I wasn't judging before. Until I realized — yeah, that's exactly what I was doing.

I wasn't the leader I thought I was.

Leadership is about taking others into account. It sounds easy on paper. In real life, it's incredibly hard.

So now I try to follow a simpler formula: understand that you won't understand. Not "try harder to understand." Not "put yourself in their shoes." Just accept that their shoes don't fit your feet.

I'll never be a leader who knows everything. It's an endless path. And right now, there are things I still don't know and don't understand. That's just where I am.

Btw, after this story with the dying battery, my relationship with our founder — which was already good — became even better. 🤝 And I believe this has a positive impact on our business. When you stop judging and start accepting, things just work smoother.